how does this happen?

I went from this ...

to this.

(everybody was snowed in and stuck this morning and since I live only a couple blocks from the hospital I had to go in for a little while this morning while people dug themselves out. no blow dryer so no shower + no light so no makeup + working until 11 the 2 nights before + getting home from mexico at 2 in the morning before THAT = me looking like this in the snow. i don't know what derek's excuse is, hehe)

and the week before i was happy to even just enjoy this 3 child workout.

or see the grass

or play outside without the winter gear!

What a day today was. I was at work last night pushing a patient on a stretcher cruisin around the corner when all of sudden lights out and BANG my elbow into the corner or the door. They were only out for about 30 seconds and then generator kicked in, but we almost crashed through the wall with that guy and I practically had a heart attack. That was just before 11 o'clock last night. Long dark, cold, house story short the power came back on about 2 or 3 this afternoon. So there was no school, but we didn't really do anything. Weird day.

I'm just trying to focus on the ridicuolously great time we had in mexico last week! We just got back late Sunday. It was hot and sunny every day. I sat on the beach or by the pool every day, jogged on the beach, read 4 books, did yoga by the waves, bartered for some mexican 'goods,' did everything uninterrupted by anyone and ate myself to an extra 5 or so pounds. Worth every one. You feel like you really have to eat a lot when you go all inclusive when you don't get in on any of the alcohol. So I did.

Here's a picture or 2. We didn't take many pictures mostly because beach = me in a swimsuit which therefore = no thanks, put that evidence away.

Oh Derek, splashing in the waves.

And a big thank you to my mom and sil Rhonda and sil Sarabeth who passed around my kids and took great care of them while I was away. I have 2 of Rhonda's kids for the rest of the week right now and I hear one of them giggling with one of mine right now! Should be fun!

Before we left we had a fun Easter weekend with the familia. My sister Brooke had her 3 week old baby Gavin here and we are all pretty much in love. My kids were fighting over who's turn it was to hold him and were in his face all the time. Gavin was pretty good about it all. And don't even say it...I know my baby is turning 3 next month, but don't even say it!

Just look at the lips on that baby! love 'em!

My sister Sue who apparently has a 9 month baby belly somewhere in there.

Now excuse me while I go and lather up my dry skin and brush out my dead dry hair and watch my tan fade away and dream of the wonders the humidity did on my hair and skin.

first this...

James insisted on waiting up for his galavanting parents.

Then he fell off, but he slept through it. and yes, that is combined spiderman, cars pj's

And then this...

Alli had to even it out and mess up the top lip

Look at that blood drool. Her top lip was so swollen and got a huge ugly scab on it, yeeouch!

Now this...

I haven't blogged in forever. Like FOREVER in my blog world. I feel so lost and empty without writing and that nobody is reading my deep thoughts and ramblings. Derek is annoyed beacuse I talk to him way more now. I don't know what's come over me. I really don't. My biggest problem is I don't pull out the camera anymore. My bedroom is down in the base-basement, like 2 flights of stairs down. So whenever the kids are doing picture worthy stuff, I'm like 'ah, they won't be cute in the 37 seconds its gonna take to go down and back, so why bother. The battery is probably dead anyway.' And even though I don't always write about the kids, I seem to always put their pictures up here because I like to look at them, just sayin...they are cute to me.

Anyway, I thought about recapping the last month, but I won't because it wasn't that exciting, and there is limited pictures of course.

There is the '22 things I learned as a Mother' going around.

I don't feel like doing that right now, maybe another day.

I havn't changed a tag to make it what I want in a long time...

So here is 22 random things, happenings, and observations...

1. Taylor Swifts' hair bugs me. I mean does she curl it up like that every day? because it doesn't look like natural hair. She's all just a little to perfect.

2. I've only truly watched one American Idol from start to finish. I decided I was going to watch it this year, lame-O. Did I choose a bad season or is it just me.

3. I was thinking Ellen would be a lot funnier.

4. I still listen to Pearl Jam on regular basis, it would be weird if I didn't.

5. I stayed up until 3am last night with some of my fav gals. I thought it was 2 am (fix your dang clock Marissa, daylight savings was 2 weeks ago.) Came home to 2 peed beds, always a treat.

6. Flexerol is a very powerful drug, I took it twice this week. I was floating. But my back/neck pain that has been KILLING me for 6 months was at a minimal.

7. I have not bought any clothes for myself or Derek or the kids for over a month, one more month to go!

8. I am truly disappointed in Jesse James. (of course I care)

9. Is it too much for me to ask to want Giselle B hair? I mean really...

10. It was my goal to read at least one book a month this year. March 28th: total books read in 2010, ZERO.

11. If I'm not blogging and I'm not reading, what am I doing?

12. I could not believe how much fun I had swimming this weekend, I usually don't like swimming.

13. I'm pretty sure I'll have even more fun swimming in MEXICO next week. Thats right.

14. Will someone please buy our house in Cardston, please?

15. We spent a long time in the Running Room trying on tons of shoes and getting my 'walk evaluation' and then we went and ordered them online and saved over $100. Should I feel bad about that? (this doesn't count in my no shopping rule, I've needed new shoes for a awhile, I just finally got around to it.)

16. Why does Frankin get a name and everyone else is just bear, or fox, or beaver?

17. 22 things is just too many, I think I'll go take a flexerol and go to bed. I'll break it in half this time so I don't sleep for 11 hours and through my morning workout class.

olympic ballerina

While we're on the topic of the Olympics...my child is going there....if they ever have ballet in the Olympics. (I'm not sure why up to this point it is isn't, winter or summer really doesn't matter)

Anyway, it is a well known fact that Alli is a tippy toe walker, always has been since she was first walking. She walks on her tippy's a lot. Runs on them too, fast. I don't even notice it anymore. I've heard all the comments about what it means and blah blah blah, but whatever, I think she does it when she is bored. I don't think it is a form of autism and I don't think she will need surgery on her Achilles .

Note these old pics for example

And now, I might just venture to be proud of the tip toes.

Naturally I put her in ballet this year. I thought I'd finally take some pictures real quick before class last week.

It started out like this (I wanted to pull her leggings down but she would let me, and this is what happened.)

Then I bribed and we got a little better.

Then I asked her to twirl on her tippy's. Well, all of a sudden, she went UP! ( it's a terrible pic, but you get it) And she could dance like this!

Maybe I'm crazy and all 4 year old girls in ballet can do this, but I'm pretty sure they can't ( and I don't want to hear it if your child can), and that is why my child will go to the Olympics some day.

And I thought I was paying all this money for her to learn 'Hickory Dickory Dock' and a frog stretch.

we didn't have any plans anyway

Ahhh, Family Day.

We were hangin out his morning, trying to decide if we were going to go swimming, or to a movie in the afternoon for our family day adventure. While we were deciding, a dance party just kinda up and happened in the kitchen. Because, well, what else do you do on family day?

Things got a little crazy. Derek was twirling around with the kids and Alli's hand slipped out of his. She fell face first on the hardwood.



It was bleeding and gaping, and Alli does NOT deal well with blood at all, not even close. She may get her whimpyness from her mom, but her fear of blood is unknown. I'm a nurse, bring on the blood, and Derek, well he watched both my c-sections closer than he watched me.

SO, we decided to take her to the hospital. It kept opening up and gushing so easily being on her lip and all. Grandpa is in Mexico, but I think he's to much of a softie to give his own grankid stitches anyway. She got 2 little stitches, and she wasn't the quietest kid but she held her head still...with only slight effort by me.

We went to the movie. (Plenty of time in the day still. I love Raymond. We were in and out in an hour and 30 mins was waiting for the freezing to kick in.) She was happy that she could still eat popcorn. I think a couple of her teeth are slightly loose, that could be a whole different story.

So here's a warning, be careful with those impromptu dance party's, family day or not!

what's it all about?

It's pretty much all about love.

(How much do I love this pic that JAMES took of us when Derek was on his way out the door?)

I love Valentine's Day. We don't do anything exciting or too out of the ordinary around this time, but I still love it. I mean really, what is so wrong with people telling other people they love them? It's clearly not just a husband/wife kinda day. My kids were making Valentines for everyone under the sun this week. I may or may not get them all delivered, but that is not the point. They thought of all these people they love and wanted to tell them so. I think that is just plain nice!


I just have so many people to love in my life, and I might be just a little shy to tell them most of the time. That's why I have my kids tell them in the form of crafty crafted cards, (or Dora and Elmo cards) our decorated rice krispy squares, and/or possibly sugar cookies. But I just don't know if I feel like making those cookies this year, I do however feel like eating them. Whit? You have my recipe...


Anyway...I just think it's fun to have an excuse to do something a little different for a few days. You know, plaster the walls with hearts, make pink whipped cream for the pancakes (let's not get carries away, heart shaped pancakes are outta my league) and sing the 'all you need is love' song all day. (sidenote, as I was scrolling through my tunes I realized The Beatles pretty much summed up love in so many of their songs, drugs too, but their love songs are the best.)



So here it is Valentines Time and how in love am I?! So in love with my all family and friends. So happy with where things are at. Derek is so in love with me too I just know it. How do I know you ask?!

I asked for him to get me nothing this year, and I meant it too.

So the story goes, we had a major mishap one certain Valentines. Things were said and plans had failed and a certain partner of the relationship may have overeacted. BUT she has since apologized and has had many a hearty laugh over it, and found out a few weeks after the episode she was preggo with her first so it was all justified...right? From that time forward, expectations were pretty low. And low expectations make for a great day! Anyway, we usually don't really do gifts cause I suck at receiving gifts, but I often ask Derek for a letter, a letter of love 'round this time.

So cheesy I know. As I went this year to look back and reflect through my box of love letters (it doesn't exist, it took very little time) I realized I will not ask him for a letter ever again. My husband is not the romantic type. I know this, I have always known this. And I never have cared about that. I'm always quite sure he won't write one, but there is always that teeny tiny part of me that hopes I might get a surprise letter. But no, and that really is ok by me. (I think I like the thought of a love letter more than actually getting a letter. And at this point, let's face it, it would probably be a let down anyway.)

All I really have to do is just think of all the other ways he shows me and the kids that he loves us and I realize I don't need some sap letter to tell me so. Did you want to know that much about us?



And sure, Valentines could all just be a big commercial sham, but it's not necessarily a bad one now is it?

(I told her to do a little pose for me, and this? is what I get.)

Happy Valentines Day !

Keep your expectations low and you will have a glorious day!

i thought it was funny

The kids got twin bruises a day or 2 apart. I wish I would have looked at this picture right after I took it because it is just terrible light right before bed and you just can't get the full effect of the damage.


I told them I wanted to take their picture and they ran into the bathroom and slicked their hair back so I could see it better, love it.

bed time and co-ed baths

So I decided confession time has come around again. I went through the confessional last year, and I can't even remember what I actually confessed? All I remember is I there were sure a lot of you out there airing your dirty laundry for feel goodness of yourself and others.

But, I'm gonna get right into it...I hate bedtime. I love it when it is over, sigh of relief, but the process is aging.

Am I the only one?

I get crazy. I get ancey. I get inpatient. I get annoyed.

All this combined = Mean Mom.

Way more mean than no play-dough mean mom.

(this is wind down time)

Suddenly the bedtime routine comes and I feel like I have no control. They don't listen, they don't cooperate, they have excuses, they whine, and it is often madness. (not that they listen, cooperate and never whine all day long) I feel like I am rather consistent in my efforts with it all, but it seems not to matter to them.

My mom told me she always kinda liked the wind down of bedtime with her kids and the reading to the clean kids all snuggled up. I'm pretty sure she also has selective memory.

I have 2 kids. TWO! Why is it such an ordeal to get 2 measly kids tucked in?

I have been making an effort to try and be positive with the kids around this time. I try and make it fun, but it is not fun.

The problem with Alli is I have to practically force her up the stairs, bribe her to brush her teeth, drag her to the potty and then I end up putting on her pj's for her because I don't want to wait any longer or fight any more. And don't even talk to me about the prayer behavior. Once she is actually in bed with a few stories read and a cuddle for a few minutes she is good to go.



But James is all of the above PLUS needs some serious wind down time in bed which he prefers to have a cuddle mate right beside him for. Now I love a good cuddle with my kids. It's great and I savor it, but every night for 20 mins just laying there while he pesters me is not a true fun cuddle. The true fun wrap himself around and snuggle up so I can smell everything about him lasts for oh 2 or 3 mins before he is suddenly asleep.

The pestering is killer. It's so dang cute I can't even stand it, but that is it, some days I CAN'T STAND IT! I usually just lay there with my eyes closed 'sleeping' hoping he will follow my lead at some point and give in. And when I can take it no longer I say 'James I'm just gonna go get my pyjammas on so we can cuddle more.' I do not return after this. (Derek says I am pretty much setting my child up for complete distrust in his mother. Then I say, good luck tomorrow when I tell him you will be back in a minute when really you are gone to work for they day and you won't be right back) Recently James has been asking to come with me when I pull this one so it's on the out anyway.

(look at grandpa's face, he's all, ummm i did my turn of this with 6 kids...jks, he loves it!)

Back to the bed. I'll say James if you say another word, I'm leaving and no more cuddles. Then immediatly after he whispers in the sweetest voice you have ever heard, 'i love you mom.' Ummm, sound the alarm, I am horrible and don't deserve this kid! I am in full mean mom force and he pulls out the I love you?! Or else he'll stare wide eyed at me and grab my face (for the record I never grab his face, but he takes great joy in doing this to me.) and say in a stern serious voice, 'Mom, no.more.talking.ok? close those eyes right now.' and that is when I see that oh so not so beautiful mean mom reflection of mine.

So, I hate bedtime. What are ya gonna do? Here's the thing. I like my bedtime routine, I really wouldn't change too much about it. What I do want to change is MOI! I really don't want to be a mean mom. (which I know I usually am not) What I really really don't want to be is a NAG! I don't like that 'do this do that don't do this don't do that, hurry up, blah blah blah.' I know kids need a parent in charge, but I feel like at this point I just want to guide them along as they do it. So here it is, attitude turn around TODAY! And I can fully say with a 100% positve attitude tomorrow will be great because I am working and the glorious cousin Alissa is in charge as Derek will be gone too. haha, good luck Alissa. (that is the killer, they are so good for the babysitters!) And really, I can only go up because I am clearly writing this after a night of torture where my cool was lost and my meany-ness was not.



Now there is this bath time. I love bath time. The kids have been bathing together 99% of the time for more than 2 years. I don't even remember them not bathing together anymore. So a while back my mom was wondering when I was going to split up the co-ed bath routine. I hadn't even considered splitting them up. They have a great time playing in there, and it gets them both out of they way while I clean up supper or whatever. Well, when Sadie was here last week James got his own bath because of the size of the tub factor. So now this 'own bath' thing is like a novelty that they both want in on.



The question of the day is, should I split them up right about now? I really don't want to and the thought of the girl/boy business had never crossed my mind until I showed up at my moms! Alli is 4 and James will be 3 in May. Is it game over for them...and me?
Oh and the other question of the day is do you hate bedtime? do you like it? (if so yeah right, but HOW and WHY?) What do you like/not like? And c'mon folks, let's be real folks, nobody likes bedtime unless you have but 1 child who is a good baby and all you have to do is lay him/her down and that is that. And even then, don't we all love it the moment that door is closed and there is the glorious peaceful silence?

ps, the bishop must read my blog, i now teach mia maids in the young women starting this week, woot woot!