Wednesday, August 27, 2008

i'm a bit average

How much do I love being a mom?

I love it so much.

Don't get me wrong, I've had the moments just like every other mother out there. I'll be the first to tell you it's nothing like how I played 'house' when I was a kid.

I lose my patience on a regular basis, and my temper on occasion too. There are nights when I am counting down and I rush those kids into bed at the earliest possible second I can get away with so I can have some quiet. I've cleaned up messes that would have made me puke just thinking about it before I had kids. I have cried over spilled milk, and about a hundred other things that really don't matter at all.

My life is not perfect. I am not perfect. My kids are not perfect.

And that's ok.

Actually that's how it is supposed to be.

There are so many things in life that are important and good to do. "...never be afraid to aspire to be a mother. Get your education. Go have experiences that will broaden your mind and enrich you as a person. But don't forget what is most important." Jane Clayson Johnson

My mother in law has told me on more than one occasion that all she ever wanted to be was a mom. What a truly great aspiration. It is an aspiration for the most noble job on earth with the least recognition.
Would I be a better mother if I got a paycheck? Would I get overtime if i woke up in the night with them ? How about if I make a meal with all the food groups and they actually ate everything without a fuss, a bonus perhaps?
Of course not. Because a mom can't deny that she wants the very best for her kids and will do anything and everything to make this happen.

Creating a loving home for a family is such an important and often hard thing. But time and time again I have seen the blessings of a loving family. So I know that I will do this for my family. We cannot afford to waste our time with trivial arguments between family members. Do not waste your thoughts and words holding grudges.

Some of you may be thinking, "Well, Lindsay, you have no idea what it's like to have family problems or major disagreements in your family." Well, guess what? (and i'm sure none of you are actully thinking that, i'm just making my point here.) You're right. I don't. My mother raised me the best she could and lucky for her I listened, and so should you. (and that is the way I prefer to think about it. I have learned and grown from my experiences and there is no need to dwell on the past and the unimportant details.)

For me, my family is not that trial of my life. (ok, sometimes my kids are the trial of the day) When I have a trial, that is who I go to. I go to Derek for comfort, my parents, my siblings, my in-laws on both sides. They are who I want to be with today and forever.

So if you are ever thinking that you are not cutting it as a mom, you are most likely doing a fantastic job.

"If we stop to think about what we do, really do, we are building for the centuries. We are building character, and tradition, and values, which meander like a river into the distance and out of sight, but on and on and on." Anna Quindlen

I would venture to say my life is very average. I went to school, got married, worked for a while, had a kid, and another. No major achievements there to the unaverage person I guess. But I'm pretty sure I'm in the middle of a very major life: for me, my man and 2 little people that watch my every move. And I don't want it any other way.

Good night. By the way, the random pictures throughout are our trip to the zoo back in July. And no, I didn't dress them in the same color on purpose.

Monday, August 18, 2008

this is me for today

here's a little something from my new found friend christal. i hope we get to hang out someday!

i've had lots going on in my head these days. just about life in general. i wish i was better with words so i could share my 'profound' thoughts but i'm not great, so here's a little bit of me today.

i am: ME

i think: about my family
i know: where i came from and how blessed i am
i want: to do my very best everyday
i have: the best family ever
i wish: i had more self discipline
i dislike: stinky feet
i miss: my edmonton friends
i fear: for my kids
i feel: a roller coaster of emotions, but am content right now
i hear: quiet. love it, crazy day
i smell: everything, i have superhuman smell, this is not a good thing as a mother and nurse.
i crave: one of those homemade buns i had today
i usually: smile
i search: for a lot of things these days, my mom's house is just too big compared to the ol' apartment
i wonder: about the future
i regret: the color of green we just painted alli's room
i love: derek and all the rest
i care: about others' feelings
i always: have polish on my toenails
i worry: i'm not doing things right
i am not: easily stressed
i remember: i am surrounded everyday by amazing people who love me
i believe: i have a purpose here and i since there isn't an i hope: i hope i am fulfilling my purpose
i dance: with my kids
i sing: to my kids
i don’t always: iron things that should be ironed
i argue: on occasion
i write: here
i win: try not to keep track of that too much or i might argue more than just occasionally
i lose: my patience
i never: thought i'd be going through what i am right now..
i listen: to my ipod.
i don't understand: math
i can usually be found: crusin around with the kids in the bike
i am scared: ...

and since it's about me, how about a picture. i never put up self portraits. probably because i never take them. but here it is. this is me right now at 1 in the morning all a mess and using the camera timer.