Wednesday, May 14, 2008

james is one!

James is one today. WOW! What a year it has been. The other day Derek said, "Can you believe we have been sleep deprived for a whole year?" hahaha, it's not that bad...

Here's a few things James is up to these days...

~is so smiley
~waves at people when we are out in public
~claps his hands when I say Clap!
~torments his sister with a smile on his face
~loves to pull Alli's and my hair (must be because he has none of his own to pull!)
~is a walking disaster
~still not sleeping through the night (errrrr! but it's my own fault so i can't complain))
~says uh-uh instead of uh-oh (as he purposely throws his food on the floor from his high chair)
~laughs in my face when I tell him "no"
~LOVES tickles
~is obsessed with putting on his shoes and and playing with his feet.

I'm so happy James decided to join our family. And I'd like to know if it was him who had anything to do with the when! Ok, I'm going to do it. This is for me.

I've had so many emotions going on these past few days. I'm sad/happy/stressed about the move. Can't believe my baby is a year, and how happy I am that he is part of our family. And been thinking lots about my brother Ryan who passed away 10 years ago today. (note to self: never watch ps i love this time of year)

James was born on the very same day that Ryan died. And like I said the other day, I just knew it was going to be that day. I sooooo didn't want it to be, but I had a feeling that it would be, and was prepared. And you know what? It's ok. It's ok to be happy today.

When I was driving in the car with the kids today, Alli was "singing" along to the radio. So I started singing with her and we cracked up. As soon as we busted out laughing, I instantly thought of Ryan, and I knew it was just how he would want it to be. I know that is so cliche to say that, but I don't care, it's what happened. Ryan was a happy guy who laughed a lot with this great contagious laugh, I might even venture to call it a giggle. I don't have anything profound to say about today. I just wanted to acknowledge my brother. I love him. I miss him. I don't want to forget him. I know I never will. I think of him often. Maybe Ryan is just telling me I don't need to be sad anymore on this day. (so he pulled a fast one and sent me kid!?) Because I know I am going to be with him again someday and that brings such a peace to my heart. And maybe if we're lucky, James will have a piece of that crazy personality Ryan had. I hope so.

We had cupcakes with candles after supper today for James. Nothing fancy or exciting. James (actually Alli) just opened a little present. We decided we're saving what we are really getting him for after the move. Alli was out of control excited for his birthday. She has put together one thing. Birthday=Cake. So once again she had the icing off 2 cupcakes and was up until 9:00 bouncing off the walls. What kind of mother am I anyway?

Here's a jumble of pictures. One from every month! It's a lot. You can click on them to make them bigger.

May 2007, one week old.

June, first smile

July, a visit at Grandma's



October. He's gonna love me for that costume.

November. Learning to crawl and get bruises.

December. Merry Christmas! ok, this picture is kinda scary.

January. one of my favorite pictures.


March. A rare snooze in public.

April. Woohoo, bathtime!


Just Rhonda said...

I thought about Ryan and all you guys today. Hope it was an okay day.
Love all the pictures of James - made me think you are all ready to make a year scrapbook of his first year of life. :) Just gotta print those pictures and glue them down. :)

Oler Family said...

What a sweet post. It sounds like Ryan was amazing! Happy Birthday James! He is adorable! I love the pictures you posted through out the year..very cute!

JA Crew said...

what a nice post. yes, avoid ps i love you around this time ;) happy birthday to james. those pictures are all adorable!!

KellyLady said...

Love the pics! My kids do the same thing with icing...sometimes I wonder why I even bother putting it on the cake or cupcake! Glad you were able to make it a happy day.

Sarah Shaw said...

I love it when you write it sounds like you are talking. so honest. love it. I don't think it was an accident that James was born when he was. Just like I don't think it's an accident that I named my daughter after my mom and they both have big feet and big hands... and i bet they'll have other similarities. not to compare the situation, but i would not at all be surprised if James is a lot like ryan. HF likes to send us these little messages I think.

melissa said...

I absolutely love your little James and I can't believe he's already a year old! This was a beautiful post, and I got a little veclempt myself. I concur with the not watching of P.S. I love you bc my grandma and best friend both passed away this month too.
Also...a few things I always remember about Ryan - his laugh, his lamp that had all the gum in it, and Depeche Mode and REM. I always thought you were so cool bc you liked the "cool" music you got from your older brothers.

whitney said...

Wow, James really got into those cupcakes! Such a little stud!
Thought of you on Wednesday. And Susie too. Have some great memories of Ryan. Crazy, but great. A few involving the cops now that I think of it...
Love you Lins.

Wallace Family said...

James and my baby Nixon share the same birthday...funny how that works sometimes. Nixon turned 2 this year. It's always crazy to me how fast time flies.

I have memories of Ryan too. Most of them are of him smiling. He was always such a nice guy. It's good to remember people; I'm sure, for you, you will never forget.

Susie said...

you said it so perfectly, & I just love it! Love remebering Ryan & we love your little man, I can't believe James is 1

Jacklyn said...

I remember when we lived together and on Oct 30th I came home from school and you had cleaned my room...I miss you and I wish I could have came over and did your dishes!!!

KellyLady said... I'm intrigued from the comment you left me! is how to reach me! Cheers

Josh & Mindi Allen said...

He's so cute! Can't wait to see him July 1st!

Jess said...

That was an awesome post. I loved your tribute to Ryan I remember him being a super happy and smiley guy so that totally fits.
Love the cute pics. Isn't it crazy they are one already?