But, I'm gonna get right into it...I hate bedtime. I love it when it is over, sigh of relief, but the process is aging.
Am I the only one?
I get crazy. I get ancey. I get inpatient. I get annoyed.
All this combined = Mean Mom.
Way more mean than no play-dough mean mom.
(this is wind down time)My mom told me she always kinda liked the wind down of bedtime with her kids and the reading to the clean kids all snuggled up. I'm pretty sure she also has selective memory.
I have 2 kids. TWO! Why is it such an ordeal to get 2 measly kids tucked in?
I have been making an effort to try and be positive with the kids around this time. I try and make it fun, but it is not fun.
The problem with Alli is I have to practically force her up the stairs, bribe her to brush her teeth, drag her to the potty and then I end up putting on her pj's for her because I don't want to wait any longer or fight any more. And don't even talk to me about the prayer behavior. Once she is actually in bed with a few stories read and a cuddle for a few minutes she is good to go.
But James is all of the above PLUS needs some serious wind down time in bed which he prefers to have a cuddle mate right beside him for. Now I love a good cuddle with my kids. It's great and I savor it, but every night for 20 mins just laying there while he pesters me is not a true fun cuddle. The true fun wrap himself around and snuggle up so I can smell everything about him lasts for oh 2 or 3 mins before he is suddenly asleep.
The pestering is killer. It's so dang cute I can't even stand it, but that is it, some days I CAN'T STAND IT! I usually just lay there with my eyes closed 'sleeping' hoping he will follow my lead at some point and give in. And when I can take it no longer I say 'James I'm just gonna go get my pyjammas on so we can cuddle more.' I do not return after this. (Derek says I am pretty much setting my child up for complete distrust in his mother. Then I say, good luck tomorrow when I tell him you will be back in a minute when really you are gone to work for they day and you won't be right back) Recently James has been asking to come with me when I pull this one so it's on the out anyway.
(look at grandpa's face, he's all, ummm i did my turn of this with 6 kids...jks, he loves it!)
Back to the bed. I'll say James if you say another word, I'm leaving and no more cuddles. Then immediatly after he whispers in the sweetest voice you have ever heard, 'i love you mom.' Ummm, sound the alarm, I am horrible and don't deserve this kid! I am in full mean mom force and he pulls out the I love you?! Or else he'll stare wide eyed at me and grab my face (for the record I never grab his face, but he takes great joy in doing this to me.) and say in a stern serious voice, 'Mom, no.more.talking.ok? close those eyes right now.' and that is when I see that oh so not so beautiful mean mom reflection of mine.
So, I hate bedtime. What are ya gonna do? Here's the thing. I like my bedtime routine, I really wouldn't change too much about it. What I do want to change is MOI! I really don't want to be a mean mom. (which I know I usually am not) What I really really don't want to be is a NAG! I don't like that 'do this do that don't do this don't do that, hurry up, blah blah blah.' I know kids need a parent in charge, but I feel like at this point I just want to guide them along as they do it. So here it is, attitude turn around TODAY! And I can fully say with a 100% positve attitude tomorrow will be great because I am working and the glorious cousin Alissa is in charge as Derek will be gone too. haha, good luck Alissa. (that is the killer, they are so good for the babysitters!) And really, I can only go up because I am clearly writing this after a night of torture where my cool was lost and my meany-ness was not.
Now there is this bath time. I love bath time. The kids have been bathing together 99% of the time for more than 2 years. I don't even remember them not bathing together anymore. So a while back my mom was wondering when I was going to split up the co-ed bath routine. I hadn't even considered splitting them up. They have a great time playing in there, and it gets them both out of they way while I clean up supper or whatever. Well, when Sadie was here last week James got his own bath because of the size of the tub factor. So now this 'own bath' thing is like a novelty that they both want in on.
The question of the day is, should I split them up right about now? I really don't want to and the thought of the girl/boy business had never crossed my mind until I showed up at my moms! Alli is 4 and James will be 3 in May. Is it game over for them...and me?
Oh and the other question of the day is do you hate bedtime? do you like it? (if so yeah right, but HOW and WHY?) What do you like/not like? And c'mon folks, let's be real folks, nobody likes bedtime unless you have but 1 child who is a good baby and all you have to do is lay him/her down and that is that. And even then, don't we all love it the moment that door is closed and there is the glorious peaceful silence?
ps, the bishop must read my blog, i now teach mia maids in the young women starting this week, woot woot!
22 comments:
We split them up, Casey does Brody and I do Cache (which definitely is easier, seeing as he is the good baby that I lay down an that's it). Sometimes with Brody though we take turns, one does bath, one does teeth,one does story, etc, etc. Who am I to give advice though, Brody falls asleep every single night on the floor.
I don't look forward to bedtime. I have two kiddies, 10 months & almost 3. My 3 year old has never been good at bedtime, I take total responsibility. So before baby #2 come we would go through the routine and let him watch a movie in bed until he calmed down. It saved us! I am a big believer in doing what you need to do to survive! Most times he will fall asleep on his own sometimes when he is almost ready for dreamland he'll want someone to cuddle him. My babes on the other hand is still little and caged up. She goes to bed like a gem! And prayers are a different story! I just hope that someday he'll follow our example. We pray with him every night some nights he sit still other nights he screams through it! I don't know about the bath thing I have been wondering what age they usually start going solo. My little guy showers and most times on his own so I think it makes it easier to do it solo; there is really only room for one. Good luck! Funny how we can find comfort in knowing we are not alone! Thanks for confessing!!!
I don't love it, but I really don't mind bedtime. Sometimes it's good sometimes it's bad.
I try to do shower or bath and then pjs early. If it looks bad we skip shower and do it in the morning. Then a bit more play time. Then warning that it's coming. Then 4 books. And if he whines or takes too long he looses a book.
And the key is we switch off every night doing Roman and Finn.
But I hear ya about mean mom, bedtime is so a time for mean mom to come out!
For some reason lately Grace has been way worse when Brett puts her down than she is for me. With me, I lay her down and she is out. With him, he has to cuddle her, hold her hand, rub her back, etc. If not, she screams.
I think she is like this cause she knows he will do it. Me, I am a mean mom and I would just let her cry.
all i have to say is you were at my dads the last two summers with me, you have seen how well i do bed time...if bradys not around it normally ends in me in tears. it has actually been better lately but i am not looking forward to the day i get to start all over with drew being in a bed..
We found TJ could not handle a big bedtime routine. He'd freak out as soon as it started! So he gets into jammies 5 minutes before bed, gets a snuggle and a story and then brush teeth, prayers and bed. Done in under 10 minutes. He just got way too amped up with any more than that.
You sound like me lately.... I dread actual "putting" to bed and am relieved when it's all over. Co-ed baths too. I'm trying to decide about splitting up too. Houston lately wants to shower alone, but kodi is mad if he does, who knows guess do whatever works for ya!
I loathe putting the kids to bed, but I do love the quiet afterwards. I remember pre-kids my attitude was oh this mommy thing can't be that hard, this after I had up to 6 kids each day at my house for Dayhome...little did I know that when it is your own kids things are completely different. My kids have recently decided that after they are in bed for the night they need to eat, drink or just cimb into each other's beds to play. I know full well this is to avoid the inevitable so they get put right back into their own beds.
As for the bathing together, we stopped a few months ago right after my youngest turned 3, I found they were making a huge mess of my bathroom/ME when they bathed together. And we felt it was time time for the end of co-ed bathing.
I don't have kids...I can't relate...but how cute are those little rosy cheeks when they sleep? priceless
Bedtime used to be a fight with Abby but lately we have gotten into reading scriptures, book , prayer, teeth, and lights out and for some miracle it works. Love it when she goes to bed peacefully and when she doesn't I try to think of the nights she does.
I don't know about the bath thing since I have both girls it doesn't matter but I am interested in hearing what people think.
i'm pretty much with you on bed time. Complete chaos and disregard for what i ask them to do, followed by scary mean mom, followed by i need this--i need that, followed by your grounded for a hundred years, followed by sleep, followed by me looking in on my beautiful sleeping children and feeling guilty followed by me vowing to do better tomorrow, followed by the same the following night--with a few beautiful moments thrown in here and there for good measure. Hang in there Lins--only 16 years to go.
We have a little dance party every night and it is actually quite fun, And I actually don't mind bedtime it just clicked a few months ago and they actually quite like it. however lily is still in the crib so I just lay her down and walk away. I remember when Luke was in the hi can you lay with me for an hour stage and it was annoying. And just yesterday I was thinking huh do I need to split these 2 up in the tub?? but I don't really care yet and they have not said anything crazy so I'm gonna push it a bit longer. This was a long boring comment
My kid crawled out of his crib today and therefore wouldn't nap. I grounded him for life and told him that he's never going to play with another toy for the rest of forever. I also told him he couldn't go outside and no TV. Now THAT's quality parenting! (My life just may be over as we speak)
Bedtime is touch and go...we do have a pretty good routine but he's started this "wind down crazy" business. He counts (3 4 5 6 not 1 2 3) and runs back and forth in his room squealing. I figure that's just him blowing off some steam. Again, I ground him every night.
As for the bathing the kiddies together. I say...hold off for a bit because that's what makes you sane. Like that's your time and they still enjoy it together. If they start focusing on the other persons parts then maybe break them up but really if they're having fun and it allows you to save time I say keep 'er up for a bit. They still are pretty little.
Ummm holy long comment. Sorry!
Bed time here is usually pretty good - Brock sometimes throws a loop in it but that's getting better. We have a routine that can be long or short that works pretty good for us and I aim to have them in bed between 8-8:30.
And I say you can probably squeek out another couple of months before splitting up the baths!
Good luck on being the happy mom you want to be at bedtime!
All right, here is the deal... You just need to have a few more kiddos! I am FINALLY at the stage where I can honestly say I love the bed time routine and here is why:
1. I have so many kids that there is always someone ( besides myself) who can get my "littles" in bed for me
2 When I actually do have to put them to bed it's on my turf, meaning " Come jump into my bed" I am usually out before they even have time to get silly and they are always magically asleep in their own beds when I wake up to begin the teenage bedtime routine!!! Which by the way is way more work than the "littles"!!
3. I, like your Mom, have so many kids that I DO have a selective memory and have absolutely no memory what so ever of being a MEAN MOM!!!!!!
I HATE BED TIME TOO! What is it about these dang kids not going to sleep? If you ever figure it out please enlighten me because i am a MEAN mom every night.
I am trying to think of something great to say. But I'm no different. With one kid we still play the game "Sadie who do you want to read stories?" We both are rooting for her to pick the other one. I seriously LOVED it when she was stuck on him.. it didn't last dang it. I swear there is a pic of at least 4 of us in the tub me and maybe you included totally co ed. Mom is so selective, we were clearly too old, but I guess we turned out ok.
so.....what you're all trying to say is be thankful that i only have 1 and live in the bliss that is this til #2 arrives?!?!? we love bedtime - bath time with dad, bottle with mom and straight to sleep after that! we're lucky i guess, but we'll see if the chaos starts up with another little rascal! i think bath time is cute together til one of those comments that makes you know it's not so cute anymore!
I'd comment on this post, but I don't have much more different to say. I like bedtime. We have a "Bath, Books, Bed" routine. We read and sing songs, it's alright. He only fusses for a second when I put him in his bed, but I let him "run fast" to his bed after kisses with dad, and he loves that. ABout your comment on my blog, no, baby hasn't dropped. Doc really had to search to discover I was about 2 cm. I thought he maybe had, cause I'm on the toilet more often (like crazy more often), but nope. Still cant' breathe great when I sit or sleep.
my real battle happens around the dinner table ughhhh. kids eventually fall asleep, Sadie is yet to eat a vegetable. yep i'm complaining
We love bedtime. Both our kids are really good about bedtime. We do baths, teeth, scriptures and prayer (for scripture we just have them each take turns picking a picture from the GAK or new picture book and tell the story and try to relate it to our lives someway) then we each take one of the kids (we switch it up or let them choose) and read a story or just snuggle and chat and then they are done. And its free time for us. YEAH. I look forward to betime because it is a family time for us and a chance to chat about the day or read together etc.
Oh and bathtime, that is a good question about when to seperate them. Hmmm haven't thought about that yet.
You know, I was reading your blog and I realized that things have really switched up for me. I had a realization about 3 or 4 months ago where I really started to LOVE putting my kids to bed. I love the process and I LOVE the result. When the door is closed I get some peace and quiet, but it really makes a special time right before bed. One thing that makes it a lot easier is making them more exhausted during the day. We have a dance off or a wild game of sorts while I make dinner. They play and scream and its wild time, but then dinner comes and we start winding down. The kids just know that after dinner, you go upstairs and go potty and get in Jammies. I brush the two youngers teeth while the two olders do their own and put a timer on. Jaymeson has his own little story while pjs and potty is happening, and then he goes down. Prayers are said and songs are sung and then (this is the pivoting moment) they get a reward at the end if they have gone quickly enough. The reward for the last few months has been reading Little House on the Prairie. The kids love it and I have set aside my time until 8pm for them. (This helps because then I'm not making it a race, I know I'm committed until 8). The kids start getting ready at about 7 and if they're done by 7:30, they get half an hour of reading. If they take the whole hour, we don't get to read that night. I find that is HUGE incentive and I don't feel this anxiousness to get out! I also have been able to end early sometimes because they all start nodding off half way through.
Anyway, super long comment, but it's really been working for us. It makes me much more patient and it gets the kids pushing themselves. It stops you from nagging because you just have to say, "Hurry, I really want to be able to read lots with you tonight" instead of, "Hurry up, I can't believe how slow you're moving. Don't you know I have so much stuff downstairs to do?!@?"
Good luck with the attitude change. It's hard, but SO SO SO worth it!
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